Saturday, December 3, 2011

Abstraknya Pikiranku

Menulis rasanya capek hari ini. Berat untuk kembali kemasa lalu, dimana aku dapat mendengar keceriaan hatiku. Hanya kemarin yang dapat mengerti imajinasiku hari ini. Beruntunglah masa kecilku dengan keluargaku yang penuh cinta kasih padaku. Surga untuk masa mudaku, disaat beban ditinju rata bersama dalam hangatnya kesetia-kawanan sahabat yang kini sibuk mencari uang. Masaku sekarang kunjung muram, hanya Beliau Yang Berkekuatan Tanpa Batas yang dapat menjemputku kedepan pintu gerbang kemerdekaan seperti layaknya undang-undang dasar 1945. Dua diantara lima, satu begitu dekat namun membawaku dalam kemandirian dan mengajarkanku hidup penuh derita dimana kita harus berdiri sendiri membebaskan diri dari dukkha dan yang lain terlihat begitu ramah, baik, dikenal dekat oleh saudara kandungku dan membuat pengikutnya berserah diri dan pasrah kepadanya agar mencapai kebahagiaan dengan kehidupan penuh keajaiban. Tidak ada komentar pada hal itu. Aku teguh, bersyukur itu hal yang sulit memang. Mengapa mereka seperti itu? Begitulah adanya hidup, seperti bidak catur yang memakan dan dimakan sesuai permintaan dari pemainnya, dan tak akan pernah seorang bidak catur dapat berkuasa, bebas, dan mampu mengatur hidupnya. Kecil kalian diajarkan untuk pintar, begitu bangganya orang tua saat kau berprestasi, kenyataan berbicara "Hey, Inilah hidup! idealisme minor" Hadapi dengan topengmu, ajaklah kambing hitammu, tusuk!, demi sesuatu hal tidak penting mengesampingkan tujuan, dan klise belaka. Inilah milikku, berjudi layaknya kasino, abu-abu layaknya tempat sampah toilet kantorku. Bagaimana denganmu? maka terjawablah "tidak semua pertanyaan dalam hidup, dapat dijawab oleh internet, hanya Beliau yang dapat menjawabnya. Yang kumengerti, kulakukan yang terbaik dalam hidupku, boomerang balasan untukku. Cepat seperti SSC Ultimate Aero 3, cerdik seperti Frank Abagnale Jr., mahal seperti ide-ide brilian, karena "jangan tiru sikap yang buruk, turuti sifat baiknya, maka kau akan sukses" sepatah nasehat. Pernahkah waktu berhenti? Haha, pernah jawabku. Seru, semua suara kedap didengar, pujian dan kritik terasa damai karena sikap sporadis dalam ingatan, akar dari kebencian sebab tertipu ketelitian. Suasana non-kondusif memojokanku. bau racun senjata dari Natalee sudah tidak tercium, rogue itu kesepian, terperangkap oleh kerja tak seimbang dan nasib notebook yang ter-disarm, terdengar jerit hasrat Killing-Spree, Adrenaline Rush dan Sinister Strike yang menjadi pro dan kontra Azeroth. Kurindu wangi kemenangan, saat jejakku ditancapkan dipuncak Agung, Rinjani dan Mahameru tentunya. Ingin kesenangan rock and roll, akan kujawab "yuk, yuk dan yuk!". Tampaknya berbeda sekarang. Nikmatilah hidup, karena kalian lebih beruntung dariku.

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